I just realized who I sound like. Topper.

No, not the little man with the ghosts. The little penguin with the scarf.

If that isn’t at least tickling the dusty edges of your memory, then you’re no child of the seventies. Poseur! Er, not that you claimed to be a child of the seventies. Maybe I should lay off the cough medicine.

Topper, you see, was a lone penguin, crying out in the wilderness of Germany, when Kris Kringle find him and, well, no. It doesn’t make sense. But it was stop-motion animation and Kris Kringle looks like my brother-in-law and don’t you judge me!