My coworker is a moron. We’re not talking your run-of-the-mill stupid person here, but a Grade A moron. When hired, she claimed to have computer experience. Guess how she reboots a computer? By turning the monitor off.

But I live in Ohio. What can I expect?

The recent kerfluffle over Kansas’s “Intelligent Design” decision made me wonder why no one was throwing stink bombs at Ohio. Yep, the Buckeye State redefined science long before those Kansan chuckleheads. “The other proposal is backed by intelligent-design advocates and is similar to language in Ohio’s standards.” Not content to be the birthplace of aviation, nope, we have to be the birthplace of ID ideation.

I’m so proud. It makes me want to hug Bob Taft until his eyes pop. But then I’d be a little closer to these thugs than I’d prefer to be. I’ll content myself with sending imaginary secular greeting cards and shopping Target.