I was toodling down the road, listening to the Indians lose, when a buzzing rattle started up. I turned the radio off. The buzzing went away. Ah, I think, it was static. Radio on. Buzz buzz. Radio off. Buzz buzz. Oh dear. Buzz buzz. Air conditioner off. The buzzing went away. Ah. Radio on. Buzz buzz. Wha? Buzz buzz. I bang the dashboard. Buzz buzz. I’m sweating. Radio off. Buzz buzz. Buzz buzz. Buzz buzz.
It was my phone.
And because I’m too stupid to shut up about it, I tell all of you!
Cellphones are the lips of Satan. Telephones were intended by God to be heavy, black, and non-portable, and to occupy a prominent place in the home, a shrine to the various lesser divinities of telephonic converse.
I’m with hedgie. Cell phones are evil. If I get one, you’ll know the world is taking its final spin.