Comments on: Grief cooties and what not to say http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/ Surviving is Underrated Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:38:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: James Flick http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2364 James Flick Wed, 25 Feb 2009 22:43:24 +0000 http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/?p=1761#comment-2364 Hi Julie, Just wanted to drop in and offer my condolences; so sorry to hear of your loss. James Hi Julie,

Just wanted to drop in and offer my condolences; so sorry to hear of your loss.

James

]]> By: Rachel Bunting http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2362 Rachel Bunting Wed, 25 Feb 2009 16:05:28 +0000 http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/?p=1761#comment-2362 Julie, Just saw this - I'm sorry. I'm sending good vibes your way. Rachel Julie,
Just saw this – I’m sorry. I’m sending good vibes your way.

Rachel

]]> By: cookala http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2361 cookala Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:07:59 +0000 http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/?p=1761#comment-2361 Gosh, Julie, I just found out about Steve. I am so very, verry sorry for your loss. I know what you're going through even though a husband is different than a mother, it still hurts just the same. You know what they all say, time heals all wounds? Well, when my mom first passed away I didn't believe it would ever be possible but 3+ years later I can say it has gotten easier to live with. It just takes time. Yes, it changed me profoundly in many ways but I think I'm a better person for it, more grounded in knowing what order my priorities should be in. So hang in there. It will take time but things will get better. The heck with those cooties, good to see you back. Gosh, Julie, I just found out about Steve. I am so very, verry sorry for your loss. I know what you’re going through even though a husband is different than a mother, it still hurts just the same. You know what they all say, time heals all wounds? Well, when my mom first passed away I didn’t believe it would ever be possible but 3+ years later I can say it has gotten easier to live with. It just takes time. Yes, it changed me profoundly in many ways but I think I’m a better person for it, more grounded in knowing what order my priorities should be in. So hang in there. It will take time but things will get better. The heck with those cooties, good to see you back.

]]> By: Cindy http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2360 Cindy Tue, 24 Feb 2009 18:57:49 +0000 http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/?p=1761#comment-2360 I love your writing. I love that it's honest and open, that it reports the news of the heart and spirit through the vehicle of the body's news--the inflexible diaphram, the lunches of bagged salad and potato chips, the wobble in the voice, the stunned counting of fingers. Julie, I've read Joan Didion's <i>The Year of Magical Thinking</i> and liked it very much, but given a choice between the two of you, I would read your reflections and reports any day. I love your writing. I love that it’s honest and open, that it reports the news of the heart and spirit through the vehicle of the body’s news–the inflexible diaphram, the lunches of bagged salad and potato chips, the wobble in the voice, the stunned counting of fingers. Julie, I’ve read Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking and liked it very much, but given a choice between the two of you, I would read your reflections and reports any day.

]]> By: mary http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2358 mary Tue, 24 Feb 2009 02:10:25 +0000 http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/?p=1761#comment-2358 I don't like funerals either and don't want one myself. Your honesty on this subject, and your ability to articulate it so well, is refreshing. My husband, who used to work as a personal in home health care worker, has talked about observing the sense of relief that comes with the loss of a mate who had been ill for a long time. I saw this in my aunt after my uncle died a few years ago. Things had been so bad for so long, while she missed him terribly, she was finally able to get up in the morning and not have it be all about him--his meds, his trips to the doctor or the hospital, his anger at being ill and the way he took it out on her. I found out quickly that she wanted from me was to come over and drink coffee and admire her latest carving and let her talk naturally about my uncle when she wanted to. I wish Ohio was closer to Missouri. I'd be happy to come drink coffee/water/tea with you. We could spray for cooties just to be sure. I don’t like funerals either and don’t want one myself.

Your honesty on this subject, and your ability to articulate it so well, is refreshing.

My husband, who used to work as a personal in home health care worker, has talked about observing the sense of relief that comes with the loss of a mate who had been ill for a long time. I saw this in my aunt after my uncle died a few years ago. Things had been so bad for so long, while she missed him terribly, she was finally able to get up in the morning and not have it be all about him–his meds, his trips to the doctor or the hospital, his anger at being ill and the way he took it out on her. I found out quickly that she wanted from me was to come over and drink coffee and admire her latest carving and let her talk naturally about my uncle when she wanted to.

I wish Ohio was closer to Missouri. I’d be happy to come drink coffee/water/tea with you. We could spray for cooties just to be sure.

]]> By: lizardek http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2357 lizardek Mon, 23 Feb 2009 19:23:46 +0000 http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/?p=1761#comment-2357 There's no way out but through. Grief cooties perfectly describes it, as does the wobble. SO HARD. I'm so sorry that it has to be so hard. I don't know what happened, exactly, how or why he died, but my thoughts are with you. There’s no way out but through. Grief cooties perfectly describes it, as does the wobble. SO HARD. I’m so sorry that it has to be so hard. I don’t know what happened, exactly, how or why he died, but my thoughts are with you.

]]> By: Ivy http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2356 Ivy Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:45:22 +0000 http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/?p=1761#comment-2356 It's all hard. Thanks for sharing where you're at now. *hugs* It’s all hard. Thanks for sharing where you’re at now. *hugs*

]]> By: Anne Gibert http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2354 Anne Gibert Mon, 23 Feb 2009 13:49:16 +0000 http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/?p=1761#comment-2354 I, too, am glad you're back. I like the way you write. It rings true. I think grief is a difficult thing to write about, but it probably will help to do it. I agree that funerals can be depressing, but in some ways they help to bring people together, and as you say, at least they avoid the problem of others not knowing which can be awkward. I, too, am glad you’re back. I like the way you write. It rings true. I think grief is a difficult thing to write about, but it probably will help to do it. I agree that funerals can be depressing, but in some ways they help to bring people together, and as you say, at least they avoid the problem of others not knowing which can be awkward.

]]> By: Vicky http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2353 Vicky Mon, 23 Feb 2009 13:20:28 +0000 http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/?p=1761#comment-2353 Grief cooties is a good way to put it. But don't worry how others expect you to be, because this is yours to feel as you do. It was suggested to me once, to honour how I feel, and that served me well. I'm glad to see you back too. Grief cooties is a good way to put it. But don’t worry how others expect you to be, because this is yours to feel as you do. It was suggested to me once, to honour how I feel, and that served me well. I’m glad to see you back too.

]]> By: Jilly http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/2009/02/grief-cooties-and-what-not-to-say/comment-page-1/#comment-2352 Jilly Mon, 23 Feb 2009 12:52:50 +0000 http://www.juliecarter.net/blog/?p=1761#comment-2352 I'm sorry for your loss, Julie. Email me your # if you want to talk on the phone when I get home this weekend. I’m sorry for your loss, Julie. Email me your # if you want to talk on the phone when I get home this weekend.

]]>