A few years ago, we had cable taken out. Okay, so it was less us deciding to do without cable and more me getting into a giant row with Time Warner in which many unpleasant names were said.

September 11 happened, and we felt cut off from the world. The FM radio station that had carried my baseball team decided to switch to NASCAR (bastards!), so we were left trying to get nighttime power AM stations in our tiny hamlet. (Can you have a big hamlet? No Orson Welles jokes, I beg.)

So, we got cable back. And there was much rejoicing. And then came TiVo. And then, well, came another TiVo because, to quote the faux-Italian co-respondent in “The Gay Divorcee,” “Too much ees never enough!”

Now it is January, and shows will start returning from their long holiday vacations. They will loom on my TiVo. I am a slave to technology.

Since “Threshold,” starring my TV girlfriend Carla Gugino, is already canceled, there are only two I really care about: Veronica Mars and Project Runway. VM is a great show languishing on an under-watched network. PR is utter camp with lederhosen lingerie.

I’m so lowbrow I have a beard.