I cannot tell a lie. I have seen (and done) some truly jerkish things. But I think this takes the cake.
My coworker got a call from her husband wherein he announced that they were getting divorced. She was at work. She was about 15 feet away from me (I felt the urge to type in “as the crow flies” which would be a bizarre image, even for me). 15 feet away as her world ended.
Damn. If there’s someone who deserves to be chained to a rock while crows peck at his liver, it’s that dude. Eagles. Vultures. You make up your ancient myths; I’ll make up mine!
There are some real jerks when it comes to informing a spouse that a divorce is in the cards. A friend of mine’s husband was, in 1972, returning after a year in Viet Nam; the first thing he said to her when he got off the plane was, “I just want you to know that I’ve met the person I love with my whole heart and I know you’ll give me a divorce and not stand in the way of our true love.”
People are basically f’ed up. I’m so sorry for her. ::sigh::
I hate platitudes at this time — nevertheless, here goes.
She’s better off without him and she’ll find someone better. Someone who, when *he* decides to dump her, will sit with her and hold her hands and look into her eyes to tell her he’s found someone (younger, prettier, smarter, better).
Damn. Is it any wonder I’m a lesbian?
When I was working at a medical conference, one of the Drs who was attending it got his divorce papers via our fax.
By fax? Dayum.
My first wife gave me the news in person, assured me it wasn’t me or anyone else, left, and came back half an hour later – to borrow the vacuum because her boyfriend spilled chips on the carpet of their new apartment.
I gave her the vacuum, but didn’t tell her the bag was nearly full.
I’m an evil person.
Liver pecked by crows? Still too dignified, I’m thinkin’. How about gnawed by ‘possums?
Divorce by phone. Cruel? I can think of worse ways to find out. Take Sam, he came home to his double-wide one night early to find his wife in the kitchen on her knees to a next trailer neighbor with his pants around his ankles.
“What the ..!!!??”
“Take it easy Sam! Your wife wants a divorce.”
Now, THAT is cruel!
-blue