I’ve lost a BED.

It’s not like I have a house with 394 rooms and hidden passages and people named Lurch who might enjoy hiding a bed behind the secret staircase or something!

In my defense, the bed isn’t assembled. Losing an assembled bed would be slightly worse.

Still, how does one say to one’s sister, “O sister, I would like to return the bed unto you but, um, I lost it”?

She already thinks I’m deeply troubled. O sister, you are so, so right.